The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The new GOP: now with TWO ideas!

Republican voters. Ya can't help but wonder when they'll tire of being treated like slow 10 year-olds by their most revered politicians. Or maybe the presidential hopefuls are playing the same broken record every time they're handed a microphone for a more frightening reason-- even after the last six years, many Republicans still view politics like a sports league. Dammit, you just support your boys, and it's all about dishing out humiliating defeats and avenging losses.

Whatever it is, it's gotten to the point of threatening democracy. And Republican politicians and operatives are incessantly repeating their agreed-upon 2-point plan for America's future:

1. I'm a badass. Why, I've watched McQ three times in the last week alone! And I'm not about to be outdone when it comes to torture, disappearing Americans, and denying them their constitutional rights!

2. Clinton, Clinton, Clinton. Oh, and Clinton Clinton. Clinton? Clinton Clinton!

*"Up and down, there is only one message that cuts it," [Utah Senator Bob Bennett] told the crowd of College Republicans during their convention in late July. "That message is, 'I can beat Hillary Clinton. '"

*"The return of Hillary-Care," wrote Mike Duncan, the operational chairman of the Republican Party. "Higher taxes for all Americans to pay for her big government plans." It was a message he hoped would get Republicans, who overwhelmingly disapprove of the Clintons, writing contribution checks. "If we are to stop Bill and Hillary from returning to the White House, we must act now," the appeal urged, a full five months before the first primary ballots will be cast.

*"To beat Hillary Clinton, you're going to have to raise a lot of money. You're going to have to work like crazy," [Mitt] Romney told a reporter.

*Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who is running far behind in the presidential field, has harped on his home-state knowledge of the Clinton family: "No one on this stage probably knows Hillary Clinton better than I do," he boasted at one of the recent Republican debates, "and I will tell you that it's probably not a good idea to put either of them back in the White House."

*"[McCain] got a lot of former Bush guys who didn't like him," said a senior Republican operative, who has since signed on to a rival campaign. "They went with him not because they liked him, but because they thought he could beat Hillary."

*Bob Bennett: "Giuliani got in, and what's the first thing that the Giuliani campaign put out? A poll that shows Giuliani beating Hillary Clinton by a bigger margin."

*"[McCain] is getting hammered right now," [Trent] Lott acknowledged. "You know why? It's because the media thinks he is the most serious challenge to Hillary Clinton becoming president. They think if we take him out now, we won't have to deal with him next year."

The Republican party: still counting on your irrational hatred to carry the day.