The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Thursday, June 15, 2006

GOP decides to offer amnesty

No, not to people who come here and swipe our jobs. They want amnesty for Iraqi insurgents. You know, the nice people who create employment opportunities by killing our troops.

But it doesn't seem to have occurred to the GOP leadership (including the president, who also hinted at the agreement) that telling insurgents they won't be punished for killing Americans might not be wise military strategy. In fact, it's criminally stupid. So stupid that the aide to Iraq's prime minister has resigned for publically mentioning the proposal.

Seriously. The GOP is applauding an effort to grant pardons to the enemy combatants we're currently at war with and who are still killing Americans in the field. It's a good thing they're complete morons, because this could be construed as an act of treason coming from someone with a brain.

This afternoon on the Senate floor, several Senate Republicans are DEFENDING the a proposal to give amnesty to terrorists who have killed or wounded American troops. Here is a quick compilation:

TED STEVENS COMPARES TERRORISTS TO AMERICA’S FOUNDING FATHERS: “I really believe we ought to try to find some way to encourage that country to demonstrate to those people who have been opposed to what we're trying to do, that it's worthwhile for them and their children to come forward and support this democracy. And if that's amnesty, I'm for it. I'd be for it. And if those people who are, come forward… if they bore arms against our people, what's the difference between those people that bore arms against the Union in the War between the States? What’s the difference between the Germans and Japanese and all the people we’ve forgiven?” – Sen. Ted Stevens

[Could someone please point out to the distinguished shithead from Alaska that we'd accepted an official surrender from those groups? And yes, the author was a little overzealous in writing the caption. Try to focus on the quote.]

MCCONNELL SUGGESTED A RESOLUTION COMMENDING IRAQIS FOR GIVING TERRORISTS AMNESTY. “…might it not just be as useful an exercise to be trying to pass a resolution commending the Iraqi government for the position that they’ve taken today with regard to this discussion of Amnesty?” – Sen. Mitch McConnell

ALEXANDER COMPARED IRAQI AMNESTY FOR TERRORISTS TO NELSON MANDELA’S PEACE EFFORTS. “Is it not true that Nelson Mandela's courage and his ability to create a process of reconciliation and forgiveness was a major factor in what has been a political miracle in Africa…Did not Nelson Mandela, win a - the co-winner of - a noble Nobel Peace Prize just for this sort of gesture?” – Sen. Lamar Alexander

CORNYN: IRAQI AMNESTY DEBATE IS “A DISTRACTION.” “It makes no sense for the United States Senate to shake its finger at the new government of Iraq and to criticize them… it really is a distraction from the debate that I think the American people would want us to have.” - Sen. John Cornyn

CHAMBLISS: AMNESTY IS OK FOR EX-INSURGENTS AS LONG AS THEY ARE ON OUR SIDE NOW. “Is it not true today that we have Iraqis who are fighting the war against the insurgents, who at one time fought against American troops and other coalition troops as they were marching to Baghdad, who have now come over to our side and are doing one heck of a job of fighting along, side by side, with Americans and coalition forces, attacking and killing insurgents on a daily basis?” - Sen. Saxby Chambliss