Bizarroworld Dispatch: Huddled Masses Edition!

An overwhelming majority of Americans know better than to believe the White House's claims that the invasion of Iraq was all about spreading democracy. Most five year-olds would understand that arbitrarily bombing the shit out of a country, killing tens of thousands of civilians, and building permanent fortresses on their turf isn't an appropriate way to say "I only want what's best for you."

But the idea that we can promote democracy by highlighting people's productivity and happiness in a dignified and open society is pretty sweet. We should try and do that sometime. My innate talent for business tells me the export market's pretty much saturated when it comes to repressive autocrats trying to do away with the latter three.

This week, [American] unions are debating how to deal with China's not-really-a-union union movement; some kind of wary, conditional proto-recognition may be in the works. The other anti-union mega-nation is our own United States, a fact that increasingly poses a problem for workers everywhere as U.S.-based transnationals try to bring their union-busting practices to their far-flung facilities. At the moment, says [International Trade Union Conference head Guy Ryder], anti-union U.S. consultants are advising Chinese companies how to get around a mild Chinese labor-rights law that takes effect Jan. 1.

And why is American Progress always so eager to blame America first? Don't they appreciate the fact that America produces the best damn robber barons in the world? And we always will!