The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Monday, October 22, 2007

Red, White, and Business

Not exactly huge news, but funny. The debut of Fox's business channel has certainly meant one thing for cable television: more babe-age per square foot than you can shake a SWOT at.

Rupert Murdoch's new finance channel just launched its Website, and it lends a little insight into what the network will be offering up when it launches on October 15. Namely, foxy young broads!* Almost all of the on-air talent that's plugged on the site are skinny, youthful beauties like Shibani Joshi (a former model in India), Cheryl Casone (a former flight attendant), Jenna Lee (she played Division One softball in college), and Nicole Petillades (she loves slalom waterskiing!).

There are plenty of hunky guys, too, so Fox hasn't forgotten about you businesswomen and homosexuals out there! I know, it's tough to rip Fox for this-- that's just how broadcast journalism works. And there's so much other stuff to ridicule them for...

To talk up Fox Business News, Ailes must talk down its cable competition, CNBC, accusing it of harboring subversive strains of Krugmanism in its chromosomal makeup. Smoke chimneying from his ass like a papal decision, Ailes told Joe Nocera of The New York Times: "They’ve decided recently that America is not such a terrible place and capitalism isn't so bad"—another reaction, he seemed to be saying, to the prospect of some new pro-America competition. "They used to get really excited if a C.E.O. was going to jail and they got depressed if a company announced a profit. They are offended by rich people unless it’s them."

Wow. Those other cable business channels were actually commies all along! And, you know, if you want intelligent and truthful commentary, you want Fox:

But for sheer brazenness, what took the biscuit was a bit of mockery from Ailes over CNBC's weekend schedule: "On Monday, for instance, Bill Carter of The New York Times wrote an article in which Mr. Ailes mocked the infomercials that CNBC runs on weekends (for 'nose tweezers and pimple squeezers,' he said). . .

I'm guessing you see the punchline coming already.