Rocky & Hoodwinkle

Ahhhh, Bush and Cheney. On the one hand, you've got the Boy King's Rambo shtick, doing his best easoned veteran impression in front of a giant flag while struggling to read someone else's words off cue cards. While everyone is distracted, Frankenveep is landing juicy contracts for robber barons-- in between shooting people and having heart attacks in his knees. Five years and seven months after 9/11, they're still doing everything they can to make America a secure nation. And they even find the time to let American cities waste away and go to war on a whim!

The U.S. Coast Guard will beef up oversight of a $24 billion modernization project run by a Lockheed Martin Corp. (LMT.N) and Northrop Grumann Corp. (NOC.N) joint venture, amid mounting delays, soaring costs and design flaws, sources familiar with the move said on Monday.

The venture, Integrated Coast Guard Systems (ICGS), will continue work on the program to overhaul Coast Guard ships, helicopters, airplanes and communications, known as Deepwater.

But the Coast Guard will take over responsibility as the ''lead integrator'' or program manager, a move aimed at answering recent lawmaker demands.

The Coast Guard also plans to announce the permanent retirement of eight 123-foot patrol boats that were pulled from service late last year due to hull problems, the sources said.

That's an incredible amount of beating around the bush just to say "military-industrial complex uses national security contracts to fleece America." I'll bet they punished people for that in less enlightened times.