Sam Seder: Listen, as far as the war on Christmas goes, I feel like we should be waging a war on Christmas. I mean, I believe that Christmas, it's almost proven that Christmas has nuclear weapons, can be an imminent threat to this country, that they have operative ties with terrorists and I believe that we should sacrifice thousands of American lives in pursuit of this war on Christmas. And hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money.
Phillips: Is it a war on Christmas, a war on Christians, a war on over-political correctness or just a lot of people with way too much time on their hands?
Seder: I would say probably, if I was to be serious about it, too much time on their hands, but I'd like to get back to the operational ties between Santa Claus and al-Qaida ... We have intelligence, we have intelligence.
Phillips: You have intel. Where exactly does your intel come from?
Seder: Well, we have tortured an elf and it's actually how we got the same information from al-Libi. It's exactly the same way the Bush administration got this info about the operational ties between al-Qaida and Saddam.
At which point, Bob Knight from Concerned Women of America's Culture and Family Institute cut in in an effort to get serious about his cause. He said Seder's routine would be funny if "a lot of people" weren't seeing "their faith cleansed from the public square systematically." Seder asked Knight to name one person in America who isn't allowed to celebrate Christmas. Knight couldn't do that, of course, ultimately sputtering instead into the obligatory discussion of how the Nazis banned Christmas, too. Happy holidays.
Man, the fundies love their Nazi talk, don't they? You'd think there was some sort of widespread conspiracy to deprive 80% of Americans of their ability to celebrate Christmas. We must protect the oppressed 80%!