Red, Blue, and Incarcerated

As the GOP loves to crow, we're involved in a battle for the soul of the nation. On the one hand, you've got big cities on the coasts, with their fags, niggers, spics, Jews, intellectuals and gun-hating Commies. On the other, you've got good, decent, God-fearing Americans who promote Biblical values and are perpetually in danger of being rounded up and executed by the liberal menace that haunts America. The facts speak for themselves, folks. Just look at this red and blue-coded report on the most dangerous cities in America:

The Five Most Crime-Infested Big Cities

1. Dallas
2. Detroit
3. Phoenix
4. San Antonio
5. Houston

The Five Safest Big Cities

1. New York
2. San Diego
3. Los Angeles
4. Philadelphia
5. Las Vegas

Heeyyyy, waitaminute! Three of the most dangerous cities are in Texas? Dens of iniquity like New York and LA are the safest? There's only one possible answer: the vast liberal conspiracy. Brought to you by the party that can't even rally senators around the head of the DNC, Howard Dean, for suggesting that fundamentalists have too much influence over the GOP. Follow the link. Read the story. And keep fighting for the blue. Hey! Las Vegas, also known as Sin City, is red? Apparently red state law only works when you're protecting prostitution and gambling. Imagine that...

Just so you know, I can honestly say that I saw a man get shot in San Antonio. The worst crime I've witnessed in my visits to New York was a guy walking down the street while smoking a joint. To be fair, cops swarmed the shooter in seconds (it was a street festival, after all), while the toker went unpunished. Anyone out there want to suggest that law enforcement has it all wrong on this red and blue issue?