The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Thursday, August 09, 2007

How oily was my Republican

Here's some fine comedy for you courtesy of Fred Thompson's cringe-inducing conflation of himself with George Washington. Read the whole thing. Have a laugh. And try to forget that the latest bold proposal from BushCo is to cut corporate taxes.

Thompson's bio: "In the tradition of President George Washington, a leader Thompson had admired growing up, he walked away from an easy reelection victory to seek new challenges. He joined the American Enterprise Institute as a visiting scholar, traveled the country as speaker and served on a Wall Street advisory board."

Wow. Just like Washington, Thompson is a career soldier known for his insistence on relinquishing public office forever lest the temptation of power prove too strong. No, that can't be it. Maybe just like Thompson, Washington worked at right-wing propaganda mills and collected fat paychecks for attending the occasional board meeting. Hmmm... time to turn to the experts.

George Washington: Distinguished himself during the French and Indian War at the Battle of the Monongahela, riding back and forth across the battlefield rallying his troops, having two horses shot out from under him and yet maintaining his composure under fire.

Fred Thompson: Never served in the military, but did play "Stockman" in "Aces: Iron Eagle III."

George Washington: Signed the Bill of Rights, personally led troops to put down the Whiskey Rebellion, formed the first cabinet, appointed the first Supreme Court, defined the office of the presidency.

Fred Thompson: Aided John McCain in eviscerating the First Amendment, led a fruitless investigation of President Clinton's foreign campaign finance connections, dated.

George Washington: Retired to Mount Vernon after completing his second term as president, dedicated himself to farming, and left behind a Farewell Address regarded as a pillar of American political thought.

Fred Thompson: Retired after one-and-one-third terms in the Senate, became DA on popular crime drama, lobbied.

After all, Fred, we call them the Founding Fathers, not the Founding Douchebags.