The Nimrods Who Would Be King

All right. So I spent a little time yesterday pointing out the egregious flaws of the Republican hopefuls, but it just keeps coming. There's McCain's rejection of reality, and Romney and Giuliani's seeming ignorance of basic constitutional precepts. But the hits keep coming...

Newt Gingrich, who appeared to be prepping for a run with that whole "radio confessional with James Dobson" bit. Obviously his multiple extramarital affairs would come up plenty (and rightly so, given his sanctimony and hypocrisy), and this would be a weird sort of inoculation-- "I've already come clean! How dare you bring this up!"

Then he had to go and claim that bilingual education would produce a nation capable only of ghetto-speak. Bigoted? Yes, very. After a cringe-inducing attempt to turn the tables in classic GOP style-- "You assumed I meant Spanish just because that's the only form of bilingual education that's ever been discussed in this country!?! How dare you bring this up!"-- he followed up with a possibly-even-worse apology. Delivered in Spanish. Not just any Spanish, but read-off-a-prompter, as-my-accent-indicates-I-don't-know-what-the-hell-I'm-saying Spanish. I'm honestly not sure what he could've done to look like anything other than the egomaniacal whitebread prick that he is, but as others have noted, there's no reason for him to do this unless he's planning on a run. The YouTube clip is also notable for the comments from supporters.

Then there was the fun bit with Mitt, who's been trying really, really hard to demonstrate what a down-home, red state kinda guy he really is. This is achieved, as usual, through a rhetorical technique called 'lying through your teeth.'

Part of Mitt Romney's strategy for appealing to conservative primary voters has been to portray himself as a gun-lover, a strong defender of the Second Amendment and a sportsman himself.

But the more the presidential campaign wears on, the more questionable that portrait looks.

Romney has already been forced to acknowledge, after touting his membership in the National Rifle Association, that he joined the group less than a year ago. And after saying that he had "a gun of my own," he later conceded that he didn't personally own guns, but that one of his sons did.

Now, Romney's campaign is acknowledging that, despite his assertion that he was a longtime hunter, Romney, 60, had in fact hunted one summer as a teenager and then just once when he was in his late 50s.

So, Republicans, will you support the fraud, the fraud, or the fraud? When in doubt, you can always shout "Chapaquiddick!" or "I did not have sex with that woman!" until nasty ol' reality is safely out of your head.