The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Or to you heathens out there, "Which Stripper Would Jesus Convert?" This story just brought a smile to my face. There's something inherently funny about an airbrushed, surgically-enhanced woman whispering biblical passages into the ear of the naked lady currently straddling her chair and jiggling like all git out.

The 31-year-old married mother of two visits one strip club a month, paying for lap dances so she can talk to the strippers about God.

The Web site for the ministry she formed with two other women _ JC's Girls Girls Girls _ features glamour shots of the three that were taken by a porn film director.

The three attend porn conventions, where they pass out Bibles wrapped in T-shirts that read Holy Hottie.

Veitch's approach is based on experience: In the 1990s, she worked as a stripper and, she says, acted in a handful of soft porn movies. She plays up her sex appeal because adult industry workers relate to that, she said.

"I understand the culture of these girls. They respect that," said Veitch, whose work has received national and international media coverage.

In a posting on the ministry's Web site, Veitch said she was a successful Las Vegas stripper but inwardly feared that her lifestyle was a ticket to hell.

I'd like to informally announce the formation of my latest political venture, GrindPAC. All donations will go toward me, Matt Sandwich, in my outreach efforts to area exotic dancers. A contribution of merely fifty dollars will help me, Matt Sandwich, purchase an extravagant lapdance, during which time I will espouse the virtues of supporting the Democratic party to whatever smokin' hot and totally nekkid woman-- and likely non-voter!-- happens to be attempting to titillate me by gyrating her taut, lean buttocks in front of me and teasing me with her firm, bare breasts placed mere inches from my eyes. Please note that follow-up donations of ten dollars per person will be requested so that I can buy the criminally overpriced cocktail required to get my courage up. Only with your help can I work to take back this nation, one totally nude chick at a time.

One word of advice to the proselytizing ex-stripper (aside from putting some thought into your husband's motivation in insisting on joining you for every excursion): If you compile a video of stunned 'clients' completely blowing their cool and turning in beet-faced, awkward performances, you could probably make a bundle for donation to your mega-church. Since it would include self-righteousness AND sleaze, you'd stand to make serious inroads into the pocketbooks of repressed fundamentalists.