Friday Funny

"There's a boycott now of Danish products in the Muslim world. Luckily not too many mosques are made out of Legos."
---Jay leno

"If President Bush is wiretapping my phone and listening to my calls, I think he actually should pay for half of the phone-sex bill."
---David Letterman

"President Bush unveiled his new $2.2 trillion budget. The president settled on $2 trillion after being told that $2 bazillion was not a real number."
---Conan O'Brien

"The trial of Enron chiefs Jeffrey Skilling and Ken Lay began four-and-a-half years after perpetrating -- allegedly -- the fraud that led to the second largest bankruptcy in American history. Why four-and-a-half years? Because apparently it's harder to bring Ken Lay to trial than it is to invade two countries."
---Jon Stewart

"While giving the [State of the Union] speech, President Bush was interrupted more than 50 times by applause and once by a Dennis Hastert Dorito fart."
---Tina Fey

I've never heard as many Dennis Hastert fat jokes as I have in the window around the State of the Union Speech. Which is hardly fair, when you think about it. There are tons of other fat, oily Republicans to mock in that regard. Cheney had heart attacks in his knees, for God's sake! Then there's Wisconsin's Jim Sensenbrenner, whose doughiness (and colicky temperament) earned him the nickname "Babyman" on Morning Sedition.