Note: taunts supplied by Mrs. Dooley's third-grade class

Also making the news today were documents from Mitt Romney's campaign team. In giving the candidate a political SWOT analysis, they really didn't pull any punches:

Here are some views of Mitt Romney causing concern inside his campaign: His hair looks too perfect, he's not a tough war time leader, and he has earned a reputation as "Slick Dancing Mitt" or "Flip-Flop Mitt."

Romney and his advisers have identified those perceptions as threats to his bid for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination, according to an exhaustive internal campaign document obtained by the Globe.

Hey, he's lucky he doesn't have Ted Haggard's problem, or people would just call him "Catcher Mitt." That took me about three seconds, so apparently I should be earning serious cash as a political operative.

But there's also new, unique analysis of how Republican voters, with all their nuance and subtlety, are to be won over by the pioneering vision and bold ideas of '08 hopefuls:

Enmity toward France, where Romney did his Mormon mission during college, is a recurring theme of the document. The European Union, it says at one point, wants to "drag America down to Europe's standards," adding: "That's where Hillary and Dems would take us. Hillary = France." The plan even envisions "First, not France" bumper stickers.

Maybe the campaign could offer free "I'm With Stupid" t-shirts in conservative strongholds. That should get the voters in. But as I'm sure his brilliant strategists would quickly realize, there's "some potentially troubling subtext in that message."