The Daily Sandwich

"We have to learn the lesson that intellectual honesty is fundamental for everything we cherish." -Sir Karl Popper

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States


Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Nobody knows Jews like I know Jews

This web-only article from Newsweek is really worth reading, if you want to start your day off feeling a little flabbergasted. Written by "rabbi/Bush supporter" Marc Gellman, it's really breathtaking in the scope of its ignorance. Beyond the typos and grammatical errors, it reads like a decades-old tract on race, and would likely never see the light of day if it were about, say, Latinos or blacks. It also throws out sweeping proclamations without a single supporting fact or statistic.

It's almost impossible to know what to excerpt, because although each paragraph is a motherlode of stereotyping and disingenuous arguments, it's so garbled and rambling that choosing a brief passage is impossible.

But here, at least, is my favorite sentence:

A shvitz (there are hardly any of them left) is a place where heterosexual Jewish men used to go to sit in a searingly hot steam room, get hit with soapy oak-leaf clusters called pleitzas, eat herring and black bread with red pop, play cards and tell jokes.

Just so you know these 100% NOT GAY Jewish fellahs are keepin' it real, he adds:

Most had money but none of them had a Volvo or had read Kant or Hegel or listened to The Dead or smoked dope.

Huh? Real Jews don't read philosophy, and they're no more hippies than they are homosexuals. Apparently the other qualification is voting a straight Republican ticket. I can't begin to do this piece justice in a single blog post. Just have a look at it, in all its "if you're Jewish and vote against a Jewish candidate, you're a traitor" glory.

UPDATE: The blogs are doing their thing by looking at Rabbi Gellman's record. And it probably won't surprise you to learn that he's a total fraud. Although he's currently saying Jews who didn't vote for Lieberman are self-hating fakes, he didn't think that was the case in 2000, when he claimed that "Another consequence of this historic selection is that it now frees Jews to vote against Lieberman even though he is Jewish." How convenient it must be to live the life of a hack.